Giving BMW drivers everywhere a bad name... [updated]

"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion) 03/01/2019 at 13:54 • Filed to: None

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I hate that this kid is driving a BMW because it just adds to the stereotype. It’s the one thing I don’t like about my car, and I try to, you know, use my blinker, and only take up one handicapped space at the grocery store ( Kidding!!). And then people like this exist:

Here’s a hint: he’s not a visitor. This is where he parked AFTER being spoken to about parking ALL DAY in 30 minute spaces next to where he’s got a work-study job. Just for the record, he’s a student and is not allowed to park in faculty/staff lots, ever. Lots of students work on campus, doesn’t mean they can park wherever they want.

[updated, 1:50 p.m] - the car has not moved since 8:30 am and it has no ticket. This is how I feel:

So you know what I’m going to do? ....

...

...

...

go home and enjoy my weekend because I’m not a petty little troll who gets wound up to 11 because of someone else’s parking infraction. Right? Good. In fact I already bought beer and put it in my car, which is how I knew there was no ticket.

[/update]

So instead of ticketing, UPD paid him a visit and said “dude you can’t park in a 30 minute space all day” so he moves his car across the street to a different faculty/staff lot but instead of parking in a regular space (still not allowed) he parks in the Visitor Only space, again, all day. Not a visitor.

So he gets reported (not even by me, actually) and what does he do? Repent and walk? HELL NAW, he just backed his car across the parking lot into a different space.

Literally 50 feet from where he was before. I saw this on my way home, so I walked to UPD - whose headquarters is, by the way, immediately adjacent to this parking lot , and reported this idiot. I’m not out to get him, but I could see his car from my window in the 30-min spaces - and by the way, so can all the Higher Ups at my work - I wasn’t the one to report him the first time. But I did hear he was spoken to, and now I can’t help but be irked when I see his car still parked illegally, still visible from my window and even closer to the police department!

So I came into work this morning, and what to my wondering eyes should appear? Yeah, you guessed it.

Parked one space over from the Visitor space. You can see this car from the window of the police station. I walked right in there and just said, “Look, I know you can’t stop all the parking shenanigans on this campus. But I believe you did this individual the courtesy of a talking-to instead of a ticket. And to keep doing this is just disrespectful; in my opinion, he needs a stronger lesson.”

I’d just call a tow truck straightaway if it were up to me.

Also he needs to crack a window to let some of that moisture out.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 09:11

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On the moisture thing, I would just keep some baking soda in the car.  One of those fridge boxes. I usually have 2 in car

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 03/01/2019 at 09:15

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Gonna try this out on my wife's car, neat.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/01/2019 at 09:17

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I usually have 2 in each car, like I said. Absorbs some moisture and any smells (not that my cars smell).  I usually pop them under the front seats. 

functionoverfashion > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 03/01/2019 at 09:17

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Interesting. I always have just cracked a window on a sunny day.

functionoverfashion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/01/2019 at 09:19

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Indeed, and I think there are even packages with a built-in little screen or whatever, so you can remove a seal and have the baking soda exposed to air without risk of spillage.

glemon > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 09:24

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I don’t know the whole story, but as a former commuter student on a campus where they apparently wanted everyone to live on campus and not have cars I have some sympathy. There was always hardly anywhere to park-and if you could find something it was very expensive. Not saying it is right, but it sucks to be a student on temporary assignment in class or work trying to figure out parking. Call me a socialist, but if somebody gives you a job, or intern ship or whatever, they should give you a place to park.

Same fight with my current employer, I have had a spot forever, but waiting list for employee parking is 5 years, it is 8 months or so in nearby commercial lots.

ihm96 > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 09:25

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You gotta just let it out of your mind and stop worrying about it lol. Or buy an older classier BMW that the douchenozzles don’t drive. Anything past an E36 has too many automatics so its more likely to be a non car person than a car enthusiast. If you get an older one though  like an E30/E34 or even older its all car enthusiasts for the most part

Ash78, voting early and often > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 09:30

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I always thought I would get over the whole “car image” thing as I aged, but I still can’t bring myself to shop BMW’s because of the, ahem, local clientele. It’s petty, but meaningful. YMMV completely based on your location.

Who am I kidding? I’m just making excuses because they got rid of the most of the straight 6 engines and because of their crimes against humanity (the GT vehicles and the X6)

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 09:33

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That's what I use!

functionoverfashion > Ash78, voting early and often 03/01/2019 at 09:39

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I mostly don’t think about it, but it’s still a thing, somehow. I’ve given a co-worker a ride who said “ooh bmw” to my ‘03 with 175,000 miles. I’m like, my refrigerator is worth more money than this car.

I definitely live in an area where people with nice cars are just “they must have some money” meanwhile the construction guys are driving $60k F250's and no one comments on that.

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/01/2019 at 09:42

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running the a/c on hot and pointed at the carpets will suck all the moisture out.

functionoverfashion > ihm96 03/01/2019 at 09:44

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I don’t let it bug me too much. My car is an ‘03 with a lot of miles; I use it for everything.

That’s a pitchfork in the ski rack. You’re right about the older cars being most enthusiast and less douche. At this point, E46 is either a high school kid or someone over 60 who’s had the car since new. At least, that’s who I see driving them around here. I don’t know another person between 21 and 60 who drives one.

Ash78, voting early and often > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 09:50

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Yep, I can relate. In the mid-90s my good friend paid $7,500 for a Porsche 944 Turbo (‘86) and he got all kinds of snide remarks from other kids at school...who were driving brand new $20k+ Integras, Nissan pickups, etc .

/don’t get me started on the repair bills for the Porsche, though

functionoverfashion > glemon 03/01/2019 at 09:51

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There is student parking, and it’s just 1000' up the street from here. I often have to park in an adjacent staff lot to the commuter lot, and walk farther than that to my office - it depends on the time I get into work.

The problem is, he’s not really a commuter; he does live “off-campus, ” but not far. How do I know this? He has a parking pass for that apartment company hanging from his mirror.

I also know that none of those apartments are more than maybe 1/4 mile from here, which is really the center of campus. I know that’s a crappy walk in the winter but there are also free campus/town shuttles. Planning! A valuable life skill!

RE: your employer - I can’t imagine a waiting list to get a parking pass... for work. What. I guess living in a rural area has some benefits, haha

functionoverfashion > Ash78, voting early and often 03/01/2019 at 09:53

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ha! Indeed, I had neighbors growing up whose father was a competent machinist and mechanic. The kids were always driving old BMWs and a series of 944's, etc. - lots of assumptions were made, but mostly these things were probably bought dirt cheap and fixed up. In fact, the mother is still driving a manual E39 wagon to this day.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 09:53

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I had to park in a lot way away from my office and ride a bus the rest of the way until recently

functionoverfashion > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 03/01/2019 at 09:57

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That’s what this kid also has to do, except he’s entitled and doesn’t.

ihm96 > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 10:07

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Around here most of the E46s are pretty beat up sadly, but my friend has a nice blue 330ci. I personally have a clownshoe and an E34 which I love dearly and need to get fixed. Its amazing how different every era feels but also similar.

I can go from an E30 to my friends E46 and the gauges, lighting, seating position all feel very familiar

razorbeamteam > Ash78, voting early and often 03/01/2019 at 10:28

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I agree with that sentiment. I think Tesla drivers have become the new Douchenozzles around me though. I can’t bring myself to think positively about them when I associate them with rolling stop signs and general doucheness. 

glemon > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 10:35

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I suppose I was projecting some of my life and situation on yours-yes kid could walk a few feet.  On my side of things we are just a middle sized (probably considered small to big city folk) Midwestern town, not like it is NYC or LA or anything remotely like that.

Spanfeller is a twat > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 10:36

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Sounds like an asshole

functionoverfashion > Spanfeller is a twat 03/01/2019 at 10:44

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I read a book recently called “Assholes: A Theory” and yeah. One of the main themes is about entitlement, like abusing social norms that are easily abused but only if you think that you’re somehow better than everyone else. Things like waiting in a line at a deli - sure, there’s nothing physically restraining you from cutting a line. But would you do it?

fintail > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 10:47

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Entitled BMW driver, no way! (and I am saying this as a MB driver)

It’s hilarious how sometimes stereotypes reinforce themselves. My money is on the parental units having bought the car for ju nior, too.

Spanfeller is a twat > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 10:50

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Cutting the line is pretty pathetic, and it was exactly what the jeep was doing actually,

It's a stupid bridge that divides into two and one side is always empty and the other is always free. The jeep cut the line behind me

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 11:05

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I do take pleasure at yelling at people when the jump the line. I remember this one time some dickbag tourist shoved me to get inline  for a table at a popular seafood restaurant , man did I enjoy chewing him out. Dude didn’t know what to do with himself, kept trying to squirm away but I stayed in his face until I was done. Needless to say he went to the back of the line.

functionoverfashion > fintail 03/01/2019 at 11:20

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I will say, at least he’s working a work-study job? So there’s something there. But otherwise, yeah.

ZHP Sparky, the 5th > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 11:44

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If they’re not throwing the book at him I would leave a note on the car along the lines of “I know you’ve been reported – and myself, and many others notice your parking habits and will continue to report you each time we see you park here illegally”. So even if a ticket hasn’t made its way to the person yet they’ll at least think twice about how many times they’re getting reported, and that a ticket is probably only a matter of time away.

Also please sign the letter as “~A fellow BMW driver, please stop giving us all a bad name”.

I’ve owned 2 BMWs (both older, first an E30 for 10 years and now an E46 since last year ). I see a few BMWs driving like idiots every now and then, but the same could be said for many other makes – just depends on what the douche population seems to be drawn to. I can’t say that I’ve noticed any actual difference in blinker usage or bad parking habits with BMWs though. Could this be a regional thing? I absolutely know that it’s a stereotype that exists but always thought of it more as joke than based on reality.

fintail > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 11:45

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Good point, better than the devilspawn of a foreign embezzler parking his McLaren like a jerk.

functionoverfashion > ZHP Sparky, the 5th 03/01/2019 at 12:31

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Agreed that the stereotypes are more of a joke than reality. Douches will be douches in any car.

I went out to put something in my car, and not only is his car still there, but there’s no ticket either. I don’t know if I can be That Guy but I’m very, very tempted to leave a note. I’m not sure I would be polite.

Part of me wants to print the pics I have of his car, parked illegally, and add something like “Stop parking here. We know you think you’re getting away with it, but one day you’ll find that your car has been towed.”

But I think I am just giving up. I can’t ruin my day worrying about this idiot.

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 14:03

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I think you may need some sex

functionoverfashion > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman 03/01/2019 at 14:11

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haha that or beer. One’s easier to find in a store.

*although, I heard Robert Kraft found a strip mall where... oh yeah nevermind

Chuckles > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 03/01/2019 at 14:31

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After my car flooded during a hurricane, I started using damprid. Works great and only costs a few bucks. Get the unscented one though.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 14:31

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Q: How does a billionaire pay an Asian prostitute?

A: With Kraft singles. 

OPPOsaurus WRX > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 14:36

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y dont you just pretend to be campus security and call in a truck to tow it?

functionoverfashion > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 03/01/2019 at 14:38

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lol ba-dum-tisssssss

functionoverfashion > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 03/01/2019 at 14:38

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I thought the punchline was going to be “with 15-20, maybe less with good behavior”

functionoverfashion > OPPOsaurus WRX 03/01/2019 at 14:41

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aside from impersonating a police officer... I’ve also made my disdain for this asshat too public (e.g. by emailing the police chief).

I bought some good beer and I’m going to enjoy it when I get home; between that and the distraction of my wife and kids, I’ll mostly forget about it. Mostly.

...but man I’d love to.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 14:42

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this why every parking lot needs a forklift

functionoverfashion > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 03/01/2019 at 14:45

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When I worked at a marina, we had a forklift that would easily lift cars. It was tempting to do it a few times, to people who were blocking important things , but it’s tricky with modern unibody cars to do it without damaging anything. I did use it to lift my truck once, and we’d use it for things like loading motorcycles or snowmobiles into truck beds with a pallet or plywood between the forks.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 14:47

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oh i was very much not worried about damaging anything

heed the warning or you get the forklift says i

Gabe37 > functionoverfashion 03/01/2019 at 15:28

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Purely hypothetical solution—Have someone g rab one of these and unscrew two of the valve cores. Once the tires are flat, tighten them back up. No lasting harm. Then have someone make a courtesy call to campus security from a public phone and complain about an abandoned v ehicle in the visitor’s spaces. Almost guaranteed to have a tow truck arrive to haul the car off.

AdverseMartyr > Gabe37 03/01/2019 at 20:00

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LOL, but in all seriousness, it doesn’t sound like that would happen in this case. From what I read it sounds like this is someone who is ‘connected’ with someone on the police force/ in charge of everything.